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Home / 📁 Harrington / 📄 Letter, Nancy Harrington to Peggy Steele Allen, 1966-04-04

📄 Letter, Nancy Harrington to Peggy Steele Allen, 1966-04-04

A carbon copy of a letter sent by Nancy Lou Steele (1938-2008) to her sister Margaret Steele Allen (1929-) a few months after her marriage to Preston Meeker Harrington III (1934-2017).

April 4, 1966

Dear Peggy:

Your letter about our wedding was perfect! And, to have a more complete record for us, I shall answer you, commenting on many of the things. you said.

From your letter we finally know that our wedding was as we wanted it to be. We were a couple, very much in love, saying our vows at a religious ceremony. Not only that, but it was us that were being married and we were not just putting on a show for the people who came.

When we first were making plans for the wedding, I really didn't expect that anyone, except Mom, would come. When we told Mom and Dad of our engagement, back in Dearborn over the Fourth of July weekend, Mom said she would come, but didn't know if Dad could because of his job. I really didn't expect any siblings because they were so far away. It was lucky that you moved to Virginia when you did, I was thrilled when you said you would come and bring Kathy. I think a lot of my nieces and nephews and wanted at least one of them to be able to come. I was glad, too, when you said you would bring some cookies. I remembered that you were good at doing such things and knew your contribution would be very good. I wanted my family to be as much a part of my wedding as possible, but it was difficult with all of them so far away. I wrote home weekly to keep mom and dad informed and as up to date as possible. I was thankful when, the night before the wedding, I learned that Susan's dress was too long and had to be shortened. This gave me something to ask Mom to do and gave her a real contribution to the wedding - not just being there.

I was amazed at how many people wanted to come and did come to the wedding. This is probably because the Herrington's have such good friends. And the gifts. they sent were all so wonderful.

Right from the beginning our wedding was something we did together. It was not my wedding, but our wedding. We read through quite a few wedding books for helpful hints and most of them seemed to think the groom was necessary only on the day of the wedding and for the photographer. Preston was very much interested in what was going on and we compared notes every time we saw each other. There were a few things we had to do separately, but we always checked with each other.

We had always spent our weekends together and I did not want to be away from him all day Saturday even if tradition said we should not see each other. We had things that had to be done with the apartment anyway so it would have been impossible for me to stay away. Just before I went to the church Connie picked me up at my apartment and we moved the rest of my things over to our new place. Preston wasn't there when we took the things up. He had bought a new suit and, because it was not originally made correctly and had to be altered, he had gone to pick it up. When I was leaving the apartment to go back to the car I saw him in the street and he waved from down the street. He looked so happy - and felt so good. I had to feel good and be happy just seeing him. It was funny trying to figure out how to end our conversation - did we say "see you later" or what? I don't remember what we finally said. I did want you to be able to meet him before the wedding and I also wanted very much for you to see our apartment so it was quite logical for you to meet him there.

I originally had planned to dress at home, but the moving made it quite difficult and, besides, I would have felt funny walking on the street with a long gown on. Not being married from home makes things a lot different. I asked you to assist with Susan because I wanted you to have a definite thing to do for us d so you could be a part of our wedding. I didn't want to ask you to pour coffee because I wanted you to be free to mingle with our guests and meet some of ours friends and my new relatives. I didn't want a lot of females around me when I was dressing and turned people away who wanted to help. Mrs. Harrington was upstairs for a while, but she didn't stay long. Mom stayed until the end to make her entrance more convenient and, besides, I wanted her there with me as long as possible. I don't know why, but I wanted her to hold my watch for me during the ceremony and just before she went down I gave It to her. Had you arrived earlier I would have asked you to press my dress. As it was, Connie pressed it for me. It really needed pressing because it had been boxed for several days.

Preston and I discussed my hair, but it is long because he likes it that way so I wanted to wear it the way he likes it. I dressed for our wedding for him. I did have some problem with my veil. When the dressmaker gave it to me it had an all white veil - the netting part - and I didn't want to wear it that way. The only color of netting close to my dress was too dark so they compromised and made two layers of white upper and lower - and the center layer was the darker color. It turned out pretty good all considering. I did not want to wear an all white veil - it would have looked stupid,

I had looked at white dresses, but thought the color white too hard for me. My dress actually is a bridesmaid dress. To buy a wedding dress I would have had to pay $100 which I did not want to do. Preston had seen the dress before the wedding. The day I went in for a fitting he met me there and walked in just as the curtain to my dressing room opened. The woman selling me the dress was so upset she almost wouldn't sell me the dress so I thought. Apparently Mrs. Harrington had talked to her (they are good friends) and asked her to be sure Preston didn't see the dress. They gave me a good luck charm at the store that I was to wear in my shoe. Actually, I used no good luck charm and did away with all tradition. We didn't need good luck, God was with us.

I don't really like the chapel of Christ Church, but when It is decorated for a wedding it is really beautiful. I wish I could have had a picture of the chapel as I waited to come in. Seeing Susan afraid as she stepped out, but being reassured by her very proud father - Connie threatening to cough because she forgot her throat lossenges and my insisting that it was my wedding and she was not going to spoil it. The way my knees knocked - I knew I could not get down that aisle alone and was glad to have Dad there. But, most of all, I would like a picture of the dimmed chapel as all faces turned towards me - to see me come down the aisle and there, at the end of the aisle, was Preston waiting for me. There were others there, but I only saw him. His smile was so beautiful and so comforting.

When I got to the altar Ralph said "My you're a beautiful one." The ceremony was fine for me and I remember it quite well up until the time we knelt: and then I just don't know what happened. At first I thought I was going to be sick all over the altar and I asked God to please help me not to be sick and then it dawned. on me that that is the way I react when I am going to faint. I don't know what I dould have done, but thought I might at least steady myself if I took hold of Preston's arm. He at first thought it was an affectionate gesture on my part, but then he realized that I was swaying. He whispered "Take It easy, Nancy," and then "I love you, Nancy." Ralph asked me if I was all right and I said no. He asked me. if I wanted to stand up and all I could imagine was my falling flat on my face if I stood up so I said no. He asked me if I wanted a few minutes and I sald yes and I guess this is where the extended prayer came in. Not only was Preston's arm around me, but our minister and good friend had a hold of my hand. Did you know that our wedding day was Ralph's anniversary? I don't know how many years he would have celebrated, but his wife died of cancer last June and he is now raising their three daughters of which Susan is the youngest. After Ralph gave me the opportunity to relax I did pass out and I will never know why my knees didn't collapse. I regained conscience almost immediately and was able to tell Ralph I was all right. The Lord's Prayer really brought me back, probably because I have trained myself to concentrate on the words and this took my mind away from fainting. When there was supposed to be silent prayer I had especially asked for chimes at that time; I really wanted the chimes, but that is the only part of the ceremony I didn't hear - I was too involved in trying to get ready to get up. I purposely smiled as I left the altar so people would know I was all right. I don't know how many people pushed smelling salts under my nose, but by then it was too late and the stuff was awful. There is nothing like smelling salts when you don't need them.

I was concerned with the people having to wait for us to come down to the reception when the pictures were being taken, but I couldn't see any other way. We rushed the photographer as much as we possibly could and left him alone taking pictures of the chapel. The flowers were taken from the altar and put on the table downstairs. I knew they would have been thrown away if they were left on the altar and using them on the table I was able to give a flower to each of the little girls who were at our wedding.

Our cake was typical New York. It came from Horn and Hardart who have the automat chain. It cost me $25 and any other cakes that would serve as many people as I wanted were as high as $70.

I still hear how good the cookies were and wish now that I had had a few. Perhaps there are still some frozen someplace as I was told that the young adults froze what they didn't use the next night.

I was glad to be able to have a reception line where I could be sure to meet the people who had sent us so many lovely gifts. I was going to try to mention the gift each person had sent, but I am afraid on that day my memory was not so good. My favorite picture of the reception is one of us in the reception line with Preston's arm around me - it is a back-view shot. Susan was marvelous and I was so proud of her. She courtsied to everyone who came through the line.

I was only joking about ducking out the front door. That was part of my wedding and I wanted to be a part of it. Actually, we took pains thoughout the whole planning to make it our wedding but still include as many people as we could. The rice-throwers were part of the people included although I had not planned for them and it never dawned on me they would be there. Had I known or suspected, I would have dressed faster. As it was, I sat and talked with Mom for a while upstairs.

I think the gentleman you referred to is Lou Schmidt. He is a good friend of the Harrington's and the only person at the party who was not related. The entire Harrington family seems to accept people. When Preston first Introduced me to his parents and then later to his whole family there was never any hesitation. I was Preston's girl and future wife and, therefore, was accepted - no questions. This is why you and all my friends and relatives were accepted - you were a part of me and, therefore, a part of them.

I guess it was good that I insisted that Kathy take the flowers. I was glad to be able to give her something tangible that she could carry away with her. I think Mom might have liked them also. I gave her my veil and I was so pleased that I offered it to her because she was so pleased to have it. Her eyes sparkled - you know they can when she is really happy. She says she will save it for any of my nieces who may wish to use it.

When we drove off from the church George took us back to our apartment. He helped unload our wedding gifts and then left. We had dinner regervations at 8:00 so we were in no hurry. We opened our wedding gifts and matched cards because some had dropped off the gifts. Fortunately we were able to get the right card with the right gift. We went for dinner at a little place called The Leopard. It is quite expensive and posh, but the atmosphere was very relaxing and we did not feel at all uncomfortable. It was such a slow, pleasant dinner We had wine with our dinner and when we left we were both about to fall asleep on our feet so we went home. We were up early Sunday morning and left for our honeymoon in Bermuda.

Love,

Notes:

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